Wednesday, May 25, 2011


I have had quite a few blog posts rolling around in my head lately and was going to post one tonight. Until I got a message from my niece tonight telling me there was an emergency and to call my brother. My grandma was found in her home having passed away. She could have passed that day or several days before. My grandpa has dementia and thought she was sleeping. My aunt called the police to check on her (she lives several states away) since she hadn't heard from her in several days and they found her.

Unexpected death. This was my mom's mom. She was a hardcore, work-until-I-can't-work-anymore feminist who wasn't ever supposed to pass. I have no idea why she died or when. But I do know there is a time for all of us to go. It's just unreal for a death to happen unexpectedly. Morbidly enough I thought her husband (who is seriously ill) or my other grandma would have passed first before this bulldog of a woman.

I can't say I was terribly close to my grandma or her kids (other than my own mom of course). But I know what it feels like to lose my mother and more than anything I hurt for her two remaining children and step-child who are beyond devastated. And she always sent my kids birthday cards even though she's only ever met Elaina. I was hoping to see them when they moved closer in just a couple weeks to show off my babies since I can't show them off to my own mom.

It's just really sad and I don't know how to process this. My initial reaction telling Daniel was try cry and I did but then I got "all business" and jumped up saying I needed to call my sister. And I do have a funny part to tell about this and I know my mom and grandma, rest their souls, were probably laughing at us down here.

It is hard to get a call out of our house on the cell phone but the only way I can use long distance is to use the cell. So I go into the furtherest room at the back of the house and hold up the phone looking for bars, just like in the movies. I dial, my sister answers and I proceed to tell her what happened. My poor husband told me if this wasn't so devastating he would've been laughing. I think it's good to laugh, even when death is involved. It's good to live! So here's what happened:

ME: "Julie? Grandma died."
JULIE: "What happened? You're breaking up!"
ME: "Grandma was found dead in her home."
JULIE: "I still can't hear you. Grandma what?"
ME: "She's dead."
JULIE: "She what?"
ME: "Grandma is dead."
JULIE: "I still can't hear you..."
ME: "DIED. Grandma DIED!"  (Daniel says I was shouting at that point)
Finally got a strong signal and she heard me.

Oh technology. Even with all our advances we still have so many problems. I can only imagine Daniel listening in from the other room trying to stay composed and respectful which makes it funnier. Reminds me of the end of the movie Steel Magnolias when the ladies just break up in laughter at the end of the funeral.

My prayers are that your soul is resting in peace, Grandma.
And that you're finally home with Jesus and your daughter.


Becky said...

So sorry for your loss, Joy.

I do believe sometimes the Lord permits hilarious things to happen during difficult times to help us cope. Helps to be able to laugh when you just want to cry.

I remember the solemn occasion of a great aunt's funeral (my grandma's beloved sister) and how my grandma was late getting there. She was never known for her punctuality, and after the funeral home had delayed things for going on half an hour, their brother, my great uncle, turned around and said in exasperation, "That Viv...she'll be late to her own funeral", and every person in the room burst out laughing. It was just what we all needed at that moment.

Wasn't sure how close you and yours were to the tornadoes and all, but hearing from you tells me you're all right!

Nicole said...

Sorry to hear about your grandma. I had to laugh at your story with the cell phone. It's kind of funny/tragic at the same time. I too think a little comic relief can be a gift in times of grief.

Twinside Out said...

I am so sorry about your grandmother.

The cell phone story is funny! Laughter can be a great healer in times of hurt.

Mel said...

I am so sorry for the loss your grandmother, Joy! Praying for peace for your family.

Kristen said...

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. Sending hugs your direction!

*~Chelsea~* said...

I'm so sorry, Joysters! :*( That's very sad and it's always hard to lose a member of the family. I'm glad you could find laughter in your day because sometimes you do have to laugh, like you said. Your transcript of your conversation with Julie did make me laugh out loud! Take care and let me know if you need anything. *hugs*

Julie said...

I bust a gut reading about our conversation. I snorted too and woke Aubrey! You forgot the part about me thinking you were telling me "they got the raccoon and it was rabid." lol
Ah, to be a fly on the wall and see what Grandma and Mom are doing right now...