Sunday, March 27, 2011

A Few Mistakes

In my previous post I talked about something that has been on my heart since I was a teenager. I talked a lot about International adoption. I sent the link along to the one adoption ministries that I mentioned in that post, Reece's Rainbow, to make sure it was alright that I used photos from their site and to just share my message.

And I got back a great letter from one of the graphic design directors who took the time to look my post over. She thought my post was great, which is awesome! But there were a couple things I was deeply mistaken on and something I think MANY people who've never actually been deep into the throes of adoption realize. So I'm going to copy and paste part of her message with her clarifications because I feel they are so important and eye-opening:

The one thing you mentioned is that the parents give up their children... it is more than just parents rejecting their child. For some countries, the parents aren't given a choice. But the thing to remember is that there is a lot of religious and medical misinformation in these countries. For one, the doctors tell the families that the child will not do anything but be a strain on them and ruin their family. Also, in their religion, a child with special needs is considered a curse on the family so the parents are afraid of their own child. That is why raising awareness is so important but also why we need our advocacy to be tempered with grace.*     (*emphasis mine)

Also, you mentioned that the costs for adoption are high but the orphanages get that money. That isn't true. The majority of the costs for an international adoption go to the various US government departments. There are fees for the social worker and agency to do the homestudy, then there are fees for all of the many many documents that compile the dossier, there are finger printing fees and fees to obtain criminal background checks. Then there are fees to the US for the actual approval by the US gov't to be allowed to adopt and bring a child from another country to the US, and the fee for US immigration.

There are also fees in the actual country you adopt from, those fees are for the facilitator who helps the families and the facilitators work HARD for the money they get. They are working from the wee hours of the morning til late into the night for the families. But your dossier needs translating and there is a fee for that... the country itself has their government departments for adopting and there are fees for that and then on top of that there are the travel expenses. Most times the appointment date given by the country is only a couple of weeks away so the families are not getting discounted flights. And of course, they need somewhere to stay in country so there are accommodation expenses. As well, there is the cost of the child's medical appointment and visa, things they need in order to fly out of their birth country and be allowed into the US.

Overall, the orphanages get very little money. 

I was recently reading through Threefold Blessings (she adopted three toddlers all at once!) and she mentioned in THIS post how they were giving the orphanage a gift of diapers. She also mentioned that in the country she adopted from, the Ukraine, each orphan is given a bank account from the government and deposits are made so that if and when the child leaves the orphanage they have some money to get them started in life. It is custom for those adopting through Reece's Rainbow to close out those bank accounts and donate that money to the orphanage. It's a GREAT post and she tells it so much better than I can relate as she was there so go check it out!  

So I'm kind of sad the orphanages don't get a lot of the money because I know they need it to continue to care for the children who are still there and not yet adopted. By adopting and donating gifts and/or closing out the bank accounts for your adopted child(ren) to donate that money you'd be building a deeper relationship between the orphanage with Reece's Rainbow. Not to mention you'd be helping out those children still left behind waiting for their new mommy and/or daddy! (I forgot to mention - LOTS of eligible adoptions for SINGLE MOMS).

If you missed my last post check it out HERE. I'll be editing out the mistakes I had make so no one finds my post and assumes things in error.

And I just have to share the Child of the Month because he is so darn cute I could just squeeze those cheeks! 

Alexander - (Down Syndrome)

I just shared his link to my Facebook simply by clicking on the Facebook icon on his page! Get the word out. Babies and children are counting on us to help them!


Kaysha said...

Joy, thank you so much for sharing! I had wanted to comment on your previous post, but got interrupted in the process and never got back to it. What a wonderful dream! I pray that you will be able to help, and possibly adopt into your own family.

I realize my situation is difficult now, so I cannot do much. However, in the future, once I am settled, and hopefully have had a few more children, I would like to do foster care (and then possibly adoption after). It would be challenging, but there are so many children in need of loving, patient environments. I am so glad that there are people like you in the world feeling the need to help!

Amy said...

So much information! I actually thought a lot the same as you. That the orphanages got most of the money. Kind of sad to me to realize its not so true!

Adoption takes a lovers soul to complete. Even more so to take in a special needs child. It is definitely something we have considered for down the road a bit. It breaks my heart to know so many children go with out the things my boys take for granted.

Little Mr. Alexander there.. he is such a cutie!