Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Because Facebook Makes me FUNNY!

Okay so I DID have three awesome blog posts written up in my head and now that I've sat down... I don't remember a single one. Go figure! And I would've written them down except I was "writing" in my head while in the shower. So instead I leave you with some of my Facebook updates because sometimes I'm funnier with one-liners or witty statuses. I have so much more but will just share in spurts as to not overwhelm your funny box... seriously your sides might split!


September 18, 2010 
Elaina singing (to a tune similar to "The Wheels on the Bus") in the car on the way home: "Abby is sleeping, sleeping, sleeping... all the way home! Elaina is so pretty, so pretty, so pretty... all the way home! Mommy is driving, driving, driving... all the way home!" And then she gets to Daddy and I started laughing SO HARD! "Daddy is sweating, sweating, sweating... all the way home!"


September 16, 2010 
Daddy asked Abigail what Mommy's job was. She replied, "She makes jewelry!" When Daddy asked her what HE did for his job she said, "You pee in the toilet!" Apparently he spends a lot of time in the bathroom at home?!?! Not quite sure what that means but I laughed so hard I almost choked.


August 23, 2010 
Abigail: "Can I have more milk, Dad?" Dad: "Mommy just said no." Abigail: "No! Mommy just said to hold my horses."


July 30, 2010 
While trying to get Elaina to clean up her mess before the sleepover she fell to the floor and dramatically told me, "I'm ALLERGIC to cleaning!"


July 27, 2010 
Elaina is in the other room yelling, "Who has painted my roses RED?!"


July 22, 2010 
Elaina quote of the day: "Mom, when you buy a car do you get to drive it home?"


July 17, 2010 
Called Abigail to dinner and she said to me, "Mom I am a princess and I'm cleaning!" Then she continued to sing, just like something out of a Disney movie. LOL!

July 17, 2010
Is there anything more startling then your dog jumping up from their bed and barking hysterically out of nowhere?!?!?!?! Especially when you're alone?


July 15, 2010 
is watching my nephew today and he told me, "I want to wiv wif you fowever!"


July 8, 2010 
Dear confused tweener girls: Someone who sparkles and won't have sex with you isn't a vampire; it's a gay guy. (copying and pasting from my cousin, Ray!)


June 24, 2010 
I bent down to pick something up. Abby tells me, "Mom, you have a big butt!" with a giggle. I think it is time to join Weight Watchers!


June 23, 2010 
Abby's favorite color is purple. After breakfast I grab a purple washcloth to wipe her hands/face and I tell her, "Here's a purple rag for my purple girl!" Abby responds, "Yeah!!! I'm the purple girl... And my dad is a black girl!"


May 26, 2010 
HURRY up and finish our car so I can go to Hobby Lobby! It is of the utmost importance! LOL!

March 31, 2010 
Abby snuck Zoƫ some of her grape juice (via sippy cup- lots of sputtering and coughing). Nice. Ruined her clothes and I kind of freaked before I realized Z is old enough to have a TINY bit of juice though I don't WANT her to have any juice. So all is well. That was our adventure of the day. Oh and Abigail refusing to potty. She's been holding it... all... day.


March 29, 2010
Abby has invisible friends (usually people she knows but she pretends they're here when they're not). She asked me if I wanted to talk to Jesus and waved to "someone" standing next to her. So I said, "Jesus, please help Abby to be strong and courageous potty training today!" Abby, not really into this potty training thing said, "Oh, He's not here anymore. He went to work with Daddy!"


March 12, 2010 
Elaina came home in tears telling me, "I didn't have a nap today! I'm SO tired! I just want to change my clothes and lay down!" When did my 4 yr old turn into an 20 yr old?!


February 26, 2010 
Elaina's version of the Subway jingle: "Five dollarb... five dollarb... dot COM!"


February 22, 2010 
I just told Elaina her eyes were beautiful and reminded me of chocolate! Then I said that Zoe's eyes were blue like blueberries! So I asked her, "My eyes are green--- what is something yummy that you eat that are green like my eyes?" She got excited and yelled, "PICKLES!" So I guess my eyes are beautiful and green...................... like pickles!

Are you laughing? Hope I put a smile on your face! Be blessed!

I've got some crafty fun goodness I might post soon or maybe some recipes. I'm trying out several new recipes and can't wait to share!

2 comments:

The Mommy said...

This was such a cute post!
I write AWESOME posts in my head, but sit down in front of the screen and draw a blank.

Becky said...

Those were HILARIOUS!!

So glad you're keeping track of all the funnies...you'll look back in years to come and laugh all over again.