Week 19- Big Sonogram Today

So I'm 19 weeks! Well according to the sonogram we had TODAY (that's right, the Big Sono was today) baby is measuring 5 days behind but we shall see if my doctor changes my due date or not. So in my mind I'm over 19 weeks until further notice.

Since I'm running out of time to post I'm going to make this short and sweet. I was so incredibly nervous before the sonogram that I felt sick. But the moment I saw baby it became SO MUCH FUN!

Baby did cooperate and show us their stuff.......... BUT you must wait until we tell Daniel's parents this weekend. I will leave you with a CUTE picture of baby. But please know that I am not torturing you on purpose! It just wouldn't be fair to family who read the blog to hear it this way. Hoping to get to post the results by Monday!


The best news is that baby, placenta, cord, etc. all look perfect! Which was a major sigh of relief. When I saw them I just couldn't believe they were in there and moving and alive! It is so surreal but definitely more real to me now.

P.S. They actually kind of look like the baby in the 3D avatar to the left! LOL!

I'll Be Back

I've been AWOL... as our computer has gone haywire. And being on my inlaws' computer has shown me what my font really looks like on here. It's pretty but it looks like a PAIN to read! So I'm going to take the font down for now.

Anywho, so I'm over 18 weeks pregnant now. Definitely feeling flutterings from baby but still haven't actually felt the BABY just yet. No bumping my hand or causing my stomach to contort in incredibly strange ways. But I can't wait for it! And I have a feeling I'll feel it really soon.

The sonogram is ONE WEEK away! The countdown is on!!! I've become really nervous about it, hoping that baby is healthy and perfect in every little way possible. And of course I want them to show us their goodies so we can call them Caiden... or Zoe!

We decided to not take the girls with us to the U/S. I called last week to ask if they allowed children and they said only for the last 10 minutes (it's an hour long sonogram)! So I didn't feel it was worth it, especially since we'll get pictures and maybe a video (I need to call back and ask about the video part). We'll most likely still get the 3D sonogram later in which family and children are welcome to attend!

I had a very vivid dream last night. First off, in the dream I noticed my stomach was FLAT and gorgeous (albeit it very pale since I am not one to tan, fake or otherwise). And I found an infant seat in our kitchen where a sweet baby.................. GIRL was sleeping. And in my dream we kept calling her Zoe.

I am not one to take dreams literally. I feel that they often reflect a fear or misgiving we have. Perhaps in this case it was my misgiving that my gender predictions and instincts completely STINK and I have absolutely no clue if we'll be graced with a son or daughter. So I place no stock in this dream that it means we're having a girl! I actually think this one will be a BOY (many posts back I wrote about how I changed my mind for various reasons).

I've put myself on a "No lifting, pushing, bending" rule because I tend to overdo it and end up in extreme round ligament pain. Come to think of it, it actually feels more like contraction pain (Braxton Hicks, of course, not the real deal). Whatever it is it definitely hurts.

So that means our baby's dresser is still sitting in the foyer. And I found out someone named "AMY" carved her name into the wood. I LOVE the dresser but I want to change the knobs. It's solid wood and has more personality than the chipboard dressers I see at other stores (I can't afford the solid wood ones you find brand new). You cannot beat $35! I was looking at a cool antique/vintage dresser at our local Antique Mall and it was $75. I did not like it nearly as much and felt like I'd be settling if I got it. SO GLAD I didn't get it and that I found this gem for way less.

Sleeping has been really difficult. I don't sleep much and I can't get comfortable because we don't have our AC on yet so it's super hot, even with a fan on. Our comfortable bed has suddenly become TOO SOFT and I wake up sore and cantankerous.

But I'm so very grateful to be having this little one. I try to write in their journal almost weekly with as many details as possible. It's amazing how much we can forget and I want to get as much down as I can. Just reading my daughters' birth stories I'd go, "I totally forgot about that... but how cool to be reminded!" Definitely recommend not only a baby book but a personal journal in which you write letters. I even include my "To Do" lists for the nursery and what I need to buy, etc. so they can see what we did to prepare for their arrival.

In regards to food, I can't think of any one food that I just have to have and can't get enough of. Don't care about ice cream or pizza. I do really want Tac.o B.ell though. I even dreamed about them last night, too, come to think of it! Ha ha! I ordered like a dozen tacos and ate them all. I couldn't really eat that many because I get full fast but a girl can dream, can't she?!

Well now I'm just rambling. I don't think there's much else to say! Hopefully our computer is back and working perfectly in the next few days. And everyone please have an amazing Memorial Day! It's not just a day off from work- it's a day to honor those who've died so we can be free. So definitely remember them during your Memorial Day festivities.

Secrets of a Shopaholic

Tonight, after dinner, I told Daniel we were out of toothpaste and I needed to make a run to the store. Originally I was going to go to Walm.art but then I thought, "Why drive all that way? We have a Big Lots closer!"

Here is a secret y'all. Big Lots' cosmetics and hygiene stuff is WAY CHEAPER at BL. Their stuff does constantly change, though, if you are really tight with your toothpaste brand. It was like a little Heaven on earth. I found other stuff on my list (hand soap, dish soap, mouthwash, paper plates, etc.) for tons cheaper.

Next door to BL is a Goo.dwill. I have no self control. I'm a thrift store junkie. Thank goodness I'm not a packrat but I do love to find a great find at a thrift store. Tonight I found the baby's dresser for less than $35. And a little wooden child's chair for $2.98!!! Those little suckers sell for over $30 at antique stores. I needed one for Abigail since there was only one in the playroom.

It needs some TLC but I love it. I want to change the knobs on it though.

After that Daniel (who didn't even want to come with us in the first place!) decided that going to Targ.et down the road was necessity. And I have another wonderful secret.

I just found the BEST lipgloss you'll ever buy. (And no, it's not at BL, but that's okay because it is WORTH the trip to Targ.et.)

My lips are always dry and pale and just blah. I have used every lipgloss under the sun (Burt's Bees, Mary Kay, Neutragena- to name a few) but I find that most of them are just a sticky mess that offer no moisture. When we got to the car I immediately ripped into my 2-pack of lipgloss (I got Rose Bliss and Playful Nu.de- $8) and smothered my lips.

The difference was immediate. This stuff is NOT sticky. My lips were shiny, plump, and best of all it FEELS GREAT! It has peppermint in it so your lips feel cool and tingly, too! It actually moisturizes instead of leaving this film of sticky gunk on your lips. My lips are so soft right now, an hour later.

It's my new fave. And I cannot WAIT to try out their new stuff (hint, hint, send me some freebies/coupons, Yes to Carrots!). Here's a LINK to their website. You can find their line of stuff at Targ.et. Seriously my new fave. I want to get their shampoo. And lotions. And lip butter. Mmmmmm...

Psst- did I mention that it's 95% organic and they don't use the nasty chemicals found in other products that actually DRY your lips out more so you keep buying their junk? Yup, these guys rock my socks off.



So what are your "Shopaholic Secrets"?



*I'm going to contact T2C to see if they'd be interested in a giveaway so stay tuned. They may, they may not! But it's worth a shot.

**Did you enjoy hearing some of my secrets? Do you want to hear more? Let me know because I have a ton more tricks up these short sleeves!

Gotta Go Back to School

As the school year winds down for kids and summer approaches I've been frantically researching and evaluating area schools to enroll Elaina into in 2010. My search left much to be desired.

We live in the historic district in an urban culture. The schools here rank lowest in state based on academic test scores. There is an extreme amount of violence and teachers are worn out.

I cried a lot in this search. I felt so much hopelessness. Not just for us but for the kids who are in these schools. Only a few manage to climb out of the ashes of inner-city life and become successful. It's a vicious cycle of poverty and poor education.

Our city is definitely trying to make a difference. I also found some private schools, one of which I'm very interested in. But the cost of private education would make you gasp- and it's probably cheaper here than in most places. I will still interview the one private school as they said they offer discounts for pastoral families (cha-ching!) and they're sending me that information in the mail.

In the midst of my agony in trying to find a place for my children to be safely educated my MIL reminded me that she has a friend who teaches in an area school. This was a school that I consistently passed over in my research... all because of it's NAME.

The school has a Latin name so I assumed it was a school for people of other language or connected with some religion. No, it's a charter school. A charter school, by my definition, is a publicly funded school that is still considered private in its own district. So it's still free as our taxes do pay for it, but it has the benefit of having it's own curriculum and rules.

Since I need to get my thoughts down, here are the highlights and lowlights:

Location- amazing! Right on the way to Daniel's work so he can drop off and pickup. Not only that but on a good day I could walk there. They love parental involvement, too, and often ask parents to become "Para's" to help the teachers out with reading books to kids.

Not only that but it's a beautiful, gated building with a courtyard filled with gardens (that the kids help plant as part of science). They have new playground equipment as well.

Curriculum- This school uses a special literary curriculum that is #1 in this area, probably even the entire state. Literacy (reading and writing) is their number one priority because once you have that the rest of the courses come much easier.

Spanish- all children are taught Spanish, using the technique "immersion", from PreK and up.

Ballet- invitation only class offered to students... for free! Obviously the outfits and shoes wouldn't be free. This is one highlight I hope Elaina (and eventually Abby) gets to participate in should we choose this school.

Music/Art- You can't live without these two! The music class apparently puts on musicals, too.

Outdoor Activities- most of the time these kids practically live outside for science and discovery in the earlier grades.

Field Trips- ties in with the above statement. We have many historical areas here and the kids practically go to free field trips constantly (fishing, for instance)!

Diversity- The main ethnicity in this school is Hispanic, but there are African American, Asian and Caucasian children as well. I joked with the teacher that if all of my MIL's grandchildren ended up in the school their Caucasian population would probably triple.

Basics- All kids get to apply for Free/Reduced lunch and almost every child receives it. Kids also get FREE breakfast and a FREE snack of fresh fruit some time in the morning or afternoon.

There are 200 kids and 14 teachers, approx. Serves grades PK-8.

Principal is very, very hands-on. She visits classrooms and reads to the children. She knows every student and their interests. BIG bonus for me! And apparently she will not invite a teacher back the following year if he/she was a bad teacher (mean, not doing their job, etc.). She also does not tolerate bullying and violence.

Scholarships- The school gives out scholarships to students who deserve and earn them at their time in this school. The scholarships are for private high schools, which I thought was AWESOME!

Summer School- Often we associate summer school with the "bad kids". Not in this case. This school does school the whole month of June to keep the childrens' minds fresh for the upcoming school year. I'm torn between loving and hating this aspect but I need more information on it (half day or full day? serious instruction or more summer-camp feel?).



NEGATIVES- All kids have to wear uniforms. I understand WHY they do this but I still don't like it.

Worried that with such a strong emphasis on the Language Arts the other subjects won't be as important. I know that's probably false but I worry nonetheless. Plan to discuss on our tour/interview.

This is not a Christian school so they don't teach Christian values. In order to be equal they cannot celebrate Christian holidays (Christmas, Easter) without celebrating every religions' holidays as well. We ARE allowed to opt out of things that pertain to things we don't believe in, thank God, so it's not a total negative.

Teacher I talked to was an early-grade teacher so she's not certain if the older grades talk about homosexuality and evolution as being truths/norms. But by being an involved parent you can thwart the stuff you feel is not fair/true. Because if they want to be FAIR (as with the religious holidays) then they cannot teach about these things without being fair to Christian beliefs that say otherwise. I do plan to say that if, when interviewed, they do teach these things.

♥

So there you have it. The pros seem to definitely outweigh the cons. Though the cons from a religious perspective are bad. It's all a matter of being involved and communicating with your children. When I was in school, as a non-Christian, I still upheld the Biblical viewpoint on issues such as evolution (which was debunked, btw, and Mr. Darwin himself said he was wrong) so having them talk about it in class isn't necessarily the end to your child's belief system.

I'm starting to get really emotional about all of this. The only time Elaina and I have been apart was when her baby sister was born and I was in the hospital. She's just growing up so fast!

She's very excited about the prospect of going to school. And in a way I'm excited, too. I cannot wait to see her blossom into the very intelligent person that I already know she is!

♥

So whatever happened to homeschooling?

Since Elaina was a baby I have felt that her being in school, with other students, was something she needed. I gave homeschooling a shot this last year to do preschool work with her and it just did not work out. She and I would end up frustrated at one another, the house would be a mess, I felt I was doing everything wrong... it was just too much pressure for me. Abigail would scream and cry during "school" time for attention. I felt so torn between them both and wanted to rip my hair out. It was NOT FUN. And early education should be fun.

Preschool used to be something that came naturally to me. In fact I was a preschool teacher as part of a class I did in high school. The high schoolers who took the class actually ran a preschool. We did Circle Time, Reading, Snacks, Songs/Fingerplays, Crafts, etc. under the direction of our own teacher who taught us the skills to run the preschool. This is an actual, accredited preschool that is very difficult for parents to get their kids into (always booked). In fact I went to this preschool when I was little and have VERY fond memories of it!

But preschool at HOME is way different from organized preschool in a SCHOOL.

I like organized school. I can't say I love public schooling (which is why a private or charter school is a great option) but I really feel we all need the schedule that schooling brings to an entire family. We'd have a start and an end to each day. I feel like a crazy person just flying by the seat of my pants every day of the week. I, myself, need structure as well in order to provide a stable home environment.

I would not mind homeschooling older grades (middle/high school) because that's more independent. My child wouldn't have to rely 100% of me the entire day, just when they needed help.

But for now this is something we're all eager for during the early years of education! I love the idea of homeschooling. But you have to remember to NOT feel pressured into doing it because other Christians are doing it or because of what so-and-so said. NOT everyone is cut out for it, as I found out about myself.

♥

Are you going to have a baby or did you have a baby recently? Are you unsure about your schooling options or how to even enroll your child? You can visit your district's website for information on how to get your child enrolled into school! If you prefer to homeschool then you can visit your state's homeschooling website to get started there.

If your baby is young it is NOT too early to enroll them into preschool (typically ages 2-4). Many preschools and even kindergartens (age 5 by August 1st) get full FAST so put your little one on the waiting lists of the schools you want most.

Kids really do grow up fast. I can't believe the day has come to even look into all of this. And Abigail will be put on a list for 2011's preK program if we go with the charter school mentioned above. Never too early!

YAY!

Daniel and I finally put the crib together. It was super easy to put together except with one part of the crib. The piece wasn't manufactured correctly so Daniel had to "fix" it. And he was mumbling to the people who designed the crib under his breath. Poor guy! But he is wonderful and got 'er done.


The room is small and it's difficult to get a decent picture. But how gorgeous is this crib? And it is STURDY. The sides do not move so we put the mattress about midway, instead of the very top (for newborns).

What I really love is that this crib has a metal-spring base under the mattress instead of a slab of wood. What was the cost? This crib was $140. You cannot beat that!

(And yes, the crib is facing the wall- you can see the WARNING sticker on the right-hand side.)

I do not think we'll be putting the chair rail up before we find out the gender. It takes Daniel time to get motivated for big projects and we have plenty of time to finish that anyway.

I have three crib skirts- a plain purple one, a pretty "checkered" green one (limey green) and a flowered pink one. I don't know how the green one will look, if it is a boy, but it should be fine. And the flower one will be if it's a girl, I think. No sense in spending over $20 on something when I have 3 perfectly nice crib skirts.

Nothing else going on with baby stuff.

Two More Weeks!

Today, Friday, marks two more weeks to the ultrasound. It feels like this week flew right by me! Hoping the next two go quick too. After that they can slow down, thank ya very much.

Nothing new to report. Feel like I'm just a sitting duck, waiting for some cool sprays of inspiration to come over me.

I went to an appointment today and then started driving towards black clouds to Tar.get to return two pieces of the crib (one broken and one piece looked like someone tried re-gluing slats into the side). The skies went so dark it felt like 8 o'clock in the evening.

By the time I reached Tar.get it was pouring so hard that I was soaked the moment I stepped out of the car. I couldn't even see! So I had two kids with me and these crib pieces I had to run into the store. Why couldn't I have waited for tomorrow? We were all freezing in the store air conditioning as we waited for someone to exchange the crib pieces.

Tangent- I called them ahead of time to ask if I could bring just the pieces of the crib back that were broken instead of the whole box. They said it was no problem. Yet when I get there, the associates who helped me had attitude about it. Um, hello, called ahead to avoid that! Doesn't matter.

After that I dropped the kids at home and made a dash to the grocery store. I went hungry, not a good idea, especially when pregnant. It had stopped raining but halfway through my shopping the store lights kept flickering and the thunder claps were incredible, rain was deafening. Great.

When I got home all of our grocery bags were wet (inside and out!). I was soaked all the way through to my skin. I think it's time to invest in some umbrellas.

How freaking cute is this sweetness?

♥

As you can see I just changed the entire look of my blog. Took a long, long time. Anyone know how to make my "header" better? It's kind of BLAH! One of these days I'm going to have someone make me a custom design since I'm not HTML savvy.

Issues of the Heart- WITH UPDATE

I don't know what is going on. Maybe I'm dehydrated. Maybe I'm extremely sleep-deprived. Maybe even anemic. Or maybe something else is wrong.

But I keep having heart/chest issues. This is hard for to me to type and open up about because it's been going on for some time now, off and on, and I just really didn't want to talk about this.

A few times when I've gotten up in the morning my heart races, even doing the most menial tasks. It's fine after I take a nap. And then sometimes I feel a pain where the sternum is (middle of chest). It's never my actual heart, more my lungs really. Sometimes it is hard to take a deep breath.

I finally got the courage to call my OB doctor about it yesterday. He told me I should call my regular doctor about this and be seen for tests. Well, unfortunately, I don't have a primary care physician. So I'm awaiting to hear back to see if my OB will refer me to someone for tests.

In the meantime pray. I don't think it is my heart. I'm probably getting dehydrated. I'm trying to stay on top of water and rest today.

♥

Update: my doctor called back to say they referred me to a cardiologist. Now I feel like a total fool for saying anything in the first place because it's probably nothing and I'll spend probably hundreds, if not thousands, on tests that show a perfect heart (well, hopefully perfect!).

I haven't painted in weeks and the fumes are long gone. So I think it has more to do with my mental health affecting me. This did happen when I was about 13 years old but I forgot about it until everyone kept saying, "panic/anxiety attacks" because that is exactly what happened when I was 13.

Oh well. Going to go see the cardiologist anyway, once I get a call from them. Better safe than sorry!

Week 17

Yesterday morning (Monday) I was awakened by Abigail. As I lay there listening to Abby I felt the most awesome feeling in the world- the baby moving. Time stood still and I held my breath trying not to move.

This time it was definitely baby. Except everytime I put my hand there to see if I can feel them bump my hand, they stop. Of course! So I didn't even try to put my hand there this time. Instead I just relished in the twitches and what felt like full-body slamming against my belly. It's just such a weird feeling this early on because you can't figure out the body parts and what they're doing.

It felt like baby was flailing all over the place. And the best part? I felt them in the MIDDLE of my belly (so cool!).

Why does that matter?

Because with each of my daughters the placenta was in the front of my stomach (anterior). It took a little longer to feel them and at first I only felt them while laying on my sides because the placenta was taking all the blows. I didn't start feeling them in the center of my belly until they literally filled my entire torso (aka 3rd trimester).

Back to this little one: but then I started to worry- what if the placenta is covering the cervix?! There would go my plans for giving birth vag.inally. I guess we'll find out in less than 3 weeks so no sense in worrying about it right now.

I'm having a lot of back pain today.

♥

And if you aren't a Facebook friend then I have to share this totally hilarious story with you. Envision a beautiful clawfoot tub in a 100-year-old house and starting a shower... Envision getting ready to shower and stepping in............ only to have the back end of the tub crash to the ground once you're in...

Yes, happened to me this morning. I had thought the tub was falling through the floor! One of the feet had slipped out from under the tub, unbeknownst to me. I screamed in terror and then turned the water off, jumped out, and ran back and forth in the bathroom going, "What the heck do I do?!"

Finally I decided that I needed to hold up the end of the tub until I could find something to prop it with. Well when you're nekid and your kids are running around their room you find there are literally no possibilities to prop the dumb thing up.

I yelled for Elaina to bring me the phone as I reached behind me to grab my towel. I finally just used a metal basket in the bathroom to prop the tub as I wrapped myself in a robe. Apparently the end of the tub falling had pulled the drain out of the floor (go figure) but at least the other pipes were unscathed.

End of story: my MIL rushed over to help, then hubby and FIL arrived. They all got it fixed while I got dressed and took care of the kids. Phew! What a day!

And the major reason for the back pain. Hey, at least I can take a shower now!

♥

And belly button is starting to poke out more. It was pretty concave pre-baby so I definitely can see/feel a difference!

Final Pictures

The nursery painting is finally finished. I just need to do the chair rail and décor. I have no idea when we'll get the chair rail done. I'm hoping Daniel will want to put the crib together soon, too. It's still sitting in the box in our bedroom which kind of drives me batty. I like things in their place.

One wall in the nursery. These are the curtains if it's a girl (will add burgandy panel). The curtains are more creamy and beautiful than the picture shows.

The finished closet door and back wall of the nursery. Blue curtains if boy. Got most of the white gunk off the floors, near baseboards.

This is probably the last time I'll post pics of the nursery until it's completely done and put together.


And I wanted all my new mommies or mommies-to-be to know you can get a free nursing cover HERE. Use promotional code "onefree" and just pay S/H to get a free nursing cover. Pink and blue are the only ones available. I got pink, even though I don't know the gender, because I'd rather wear pink myself.


Daniel's cousin is due the same exact date we are due. They just found out they're having a......... BOY! She's a radiologist assistant so they have access to ultrasound machines, which I think is so cool. Makes me pumped for my upcoming sonogram (if you missed the post, the big day is May 29th!).

Emotions

I am very tired today. I am drained. And only part of it is physical. I'm talking about emotions. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. This day brings a mixture of sadness and happiness. I am so proud to be a mom, especially to the sweetest little girls you'd ever meet.

But the day is a constant reminder that my mom isn't here anymore. Earlier today I couldn't place how I was feeling. I was just angry and didn't know why. About an hour ago I just realized it was because of the holiday tomorrow. I broke down and bawled my eyes out.

In the midst of my crying I started laughing and told Daniel, "You know my mom would've loved our kids. We'd never have to buy them a single thing because she'd have spoiled them!" Which made me start crying again because I wish I did get to see them with her.

I miss you, Mommasita!


♥

Today was also a busy day. First, my husband let me "sleep in". I put that in quotes because if you're a mom to young kids you know that any sleep you manage to get is very broken. Still it was lovely!

Elaina ran upstairs to wake me up, but I was already awake. I was just hanging out in my bed, relishing in not having to change diapers and clean and make food. She told me, "Daddy cut his foot."

I groaned, rolled out of bed and took my time getting downstairs. What I found sent me into a flurry. There was blood all over the kitchen, thick and sticky blood. Sitting in front of it was my husband.

When Elaina said he cut his foot she meant it (and it was purely accidental in case anyone wonders). The bleeding wouldn't stop so I explained that it would stop once he laid down and elevated it. Worked like a charm and the bleeding stopped. So I cleaned the wound, put some Neos.porin on it and bandaged it really well. When I went back to the kitchen to clean up the blood and the trail he left while he limped to the couch I was gagging, mostly because I hadn't eaten breakfast yet.

So yeah, that was exciting. He can't drive and he can barely walk. Which leads me to my next thing...

♥

... I mowed the lawn today. Our city is so strict about the upkeep of your grass that they will fine you if it gets too long. Ours was getting LONG. Everytime that Daniel wanted to cut it the weather would interrupt! And today his foot interrupted...

Everyone I knew was busy so I donned some ugly shoes and pants and set to work. I didn't break a sweat and nothing ached or hurt (our land is pretty flat so it was like vacuuming, kind of). I actually really enjoy mowing. But because I don't want any lectures that will most likely be the last time I do it until baby is born. The only thing that hurts are my hands. I should've worn work gloves!

♥

This evening I got my haircut and went to Targ.et with my daughters.

My haircut! And the belly bump at 16 weeks 4 days.

I realize my ta-tas are enormous in this picture. WOW!:

I went to Targ.et to look for some hair products that will help my frazzled hair. What I got ended up being over $1 on sale. Hey, every dollar adds up! But I ended up going with the new Herb.al Esse.nce line of shampoo/conditioner to see how my hair responds before going more expensive.

I also found some great deals while I was there. I found 4-piece pajama sets for the girls for $7 each. That's $3.50 per pair of pajamas!

And then I found these CUTE infant towels. I had gotten rid of the girls' infant towels so I found this 4-piece towel set on clearance for $6.98 and had to snatch them up. When it rang up, though, it rang up for $2.98!!!! I got two towels and washcloths for under $3. WOW!

Gotta love deals! And Targ.et!

Big Exciting News!

First of all, no pics tonight! My hair appointment ended up being cancelled because the stylist had to pick her dad up from the hospital. So I rescheduled for Saturday (tomorrow) instead. I want to talk to her about my hair and see what she thinks would be the best cut for my face and which will be easiest to maintain. I also got some great information from Katie on hair products by Tigi that should help maintain the frizz. And finally hoping to find that straightener. I'm ready to have lovely locks all the time! I'm sick of feeling like a frump-grump all the time.

Second, my OB appointment went great. My daughters were angels today [until bedtime hit]. They behaved so well at the appointment! They came to hear the heartbeat and then we hit up McD.onalds. Yuck! I just ate some fries and ate PBJ at home later. It was really just for the kids because they behaved so well... and that includes Daniel!

Hearing the heartbeat again was magical. The appointment was super quick. I don't know the fundal height or how fast the H/B was but I don't mind. The doctor said he was going to schedule the ultrasound at our next visit but I spoke up and asked if we could schedule it today so he'd have results by our next appointment. I just needed a date to put on the calendar to look forward to.

So my big exciting news: our sonogram is May 29th! We're praying for a healthy baby, healthy placenta that is where it should be and a beautiful umbilical cord. We also want to pray that the heart, kidneys, brain, spine... EVERYTHING looks good and perfect.

And then we want to know the gender. Oh my goodness! I don't know what to do with myself. T-Minus 3 weeks and counting!

I've begun to think worst-case scenerio but I'm trying to quelch it. I don't need to worry unless something comes up to worry about. Even then it is always in God's hands. Can I get an amen?!

I don't know why this pregnancy is so unbelievable to me. Like hearing the heartbeat. I'm thinking to myself, "They're really IN there!" I don't know if it is because I've done so much research in the past couple years on conception and birth that I realize how absolutely miraculous this is or because of secondary infertility or what. Or I may have just forgotten all this happening with my daughters. Either way, it's pretty awesome. I love that I can still be surprised and excited for this baby as much as my others.

Hair Today... Gone Tomorrow!

Lately my hair has been doing the opposite of what most pregnant womens' hair does. You know the luxurious, thick locks that are silky and shiny that add to the pregnant woman's glow?!

So not my hair!

It's limp yet frizzy and lifeless. And I shed like mad still. Oh boy I don't know what to do with it. So I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow! Finally. It only took over a month to make an appointment. I think desperation kicked in today. What am I going to do? I have no clue. I was thinking a simple cut, no fuss. Originally I wanted a cute bob cut but I don't want my hair super short.

So my hair appointment is after my OB appointment! Yay! It feels like forever since I had my last one. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day but full of excitement. Will update with the "stats" tomorrow! And I'll try to remember to post hair pics tomorrow, too. Oh and maybe a bump pic. It's been forever since I did one of those!

Scream and Stomp Your Feet!

What do you do when...

... your preschooler screams for 10 minutes straight outside while stamping her feet?


Last night, after dinner, my MIL came over so we could all go on a walk. We put Abigail in the stroller because she can't walk far without wanting me to carry her (NOT happening) and Elaina decided to push one of her babies in a doll stroller. Every two steps she had to stop and adjust the baby in her stroller.

I warned her that I was going to take it back home if she kept stopping and she said she understood. But she kept it up and I followed through. When I took that stroller away it was the end of the world. The sky fell!

We were a few blocks away from our house. My MIL decided to keep walking with Abby while I took Elaina home. She screamed and stomped her feet the entire way back home. People were coming out of their homes to make sure I wasn't harming the child. I couldn't pick her up and walk faster so I just kept walking.

Gotta love tantrums. This is the worst one by far because nothing I said mattered. Usually she's really good at listening even when in trouble. It was a long day and I think she was just tired. She went straight up to her room, into jammies and into bed.


Lost was awesome tonight! I cannot wait for the finale next week. I have no clue how this series is going to end but I enjoy trying to figure it out!

Get Groovin'!

So today I know for a fact I felt the baby move and more than once too! It wasn't a "gas roll" as you may know how that feels, pregnant or not. No, this was that feather-duster feeling right smack dab in the middle of my lower abdomen.

I happened to be sitting on our front porch swing, writing really late thank-yous for Abby's birthday in MARCH (ha ha). I was leaning forward for some reason so my stomach was pretty smashed. Then I felt it and I froze. It lasted probably 20 seconds. It was very definitely the little one trying to say, "Sit up, Mom! You're squishing me!"

WOW WOW WOW!

I know that it is too early for consistent movements so I probably won't feel it again for awhile but it was such a treat today. I also felt the little one not long ago when I was on my hands-n-knees scraping gunk off their nursery floor. Again, I was leaning forward, my belly smashed when I felt that feather-duster movement. I froze, about killing my back, so I could feel them and reassure myself they're really in there.

So I am officially counting today as the day I felt the first movements since the ones I think I felt earlier were so early it's hard to believe it was baby. I mean, maybe it was but maybe it wasn't! It sure felt like baby before. It's a good day for a milestone as it is my niece's 4th birthday today. Send her birthday wishes HERE.

♥

The nursery is completely cleared out. I just have to finish painting the cream part of the nursery door once my paintbrush dries (hopefully tomorrow it'll be D-O-N-E). So there's nothing in there. Nada, zilch, zéro!

I don't know what the heck I'm going to do with myself once this project is done. Oh I know--- RELAX! And bake this bun!

Now everyone needs to start nagging my husband to put the crib together. I'd do it myself since I'm a handy-girl but this is one area where I step back and let the husband take over. It's a way for him to connect with what's going on. Connect soon, Daniel! Because the baby stuff is taking over our bedroom... Seriously, it is.

I have the rocking chair, bassinet, infant carseat, dresser and crib just chilling in our room. I'm a very organized, neat person so of course this drives me crazy!

♥

Here are some pictures of Daniel reading a bedtime story to the girls after their bath... and of their new bedroom curtains. I can't decide if I should get another set so there are two panels on each window or just leave them as one. What do you think? I had to put Elaina's bed there to keep Abigail away from the windows so while the room isn't organized exactly the way I want, at least everyone is safe!

They were so giggly while reading this book.

*Love all the toys dumped on Elaina's bed, too. Fabulous. Picture doesn't do the window treatments justice but it must suffice! I'm not photographer.

Week 16

This is my final week in the fourth month of pregnancy! I wish I had something new to talk about so instead I think I'll hit on the Breastfeeding topic I mentioned last week.

I am not the type of person that believes one way is the only way. I am horrified by people who attack women who nurse (especially in public) and by people who judge those who bottle-feed. I have used both means to feed my daughters.

With Elaina it was difficult to breastfeed because of my inexperience and lack of help in the hospital. Because I had her on a Saturday (actually both of my girls were born on Saturdays) the lactation consultant would not be in until my discharge day, Monday. The nurses had absolutely no experience with breastfeeding.

By the time the lactation consultant reached me I was a bawling mess, giving my newborn a little glass bottle of formula. My chest was raw and blistered from continually trying to get her to latch. I actually had those wound dressings (the gel ones) because I was so raw.

I went home clueless and cried our first two days home with guilt that I might not breastfeed. I was at the brink of giving up when, in desperation, I bought a breastpump. Apparently my gals are "flat" so they need to be coaxed out more. On top of that I used a handy, dandy device called a "ni.pple shield". Probably way more information than you ever wanted to know about me!

I nursed her for two weeks before switching to pumping. I gave up after one solid month of desperately trying. My daughter decided she liked bottles better anyway (they're easier to get milk out of). And Elaina was a S L O W eater. She'd literally eat every hour. When they say babies eat every 2-3 hours they mean that babies eat every 2-3 hours from the time they START eating, not when they end the feeding.

Similar nursing story with Abigail, except I used the shield for three months straight before my ta-tas were crying out to stop (shield is a temporary device). The reason I ended up using a shield was LACK OF SUPPORT in the hospital again. Apparently Abby was doing just fine, latching on great, but it hurt so badly that I kept unlatching her (that sounds weird) to try again.

I had learned in a breastfeeding class prior to having Elaina, "If it hurts, they're not latched on correctly." That is NOT true. When the lactation consultant finally came in (again, on Monday, my discharge day) she told me that caucasian women, specifically from Irish descent, usually have very, very sore breasts when they begin to nurse. Abigail had been latching on perfectly and the pain had nothing to do with that.

The hospital isn't bad. I just wish their lactation consultants worked the weekends, too. People don't just have babies Monday-Friday from 8 am to 8 pm.

This time I feel more prepared and have the information and skills to deal with whatever happens, with or without a LC. I will not give up and I'm hoping that the third time is the charm and that I can nurse without the shield (hate that thing)!

Because Abigail suffered a broken bone after birth I felt even more passionately about giving her breastmilk to help her heal. I felt that I was contributing to her wellness by continuing. She refused to wean from the bottle but loved breastmilk (I'm sure she'll love to read that as a teenager) so that made our end to nursing even more bittersweet.

Each time I stopped nursing I bawled my eyes out. My babies did just fine and didn't notice. But the Momma cried her little heart out. I don't want to struggle. I just want it to happen and be a wonderful experience. I definitely produce enough milk (and really good, fatty milk that is as white as cow milk!).

Funny story about that. The first time we left Abigail with her grandparents so we could go on a date, I put a couple bottles of pumped breastmilk in their fridge. When we came back to pick the kids up my MIL asked me if I left her regular milk or formula in the fridge because it looked like whole milk. When I told her that was my milk her eyes got as big as dinner plates! We had a good laugh about it. She was just relieved I hadn't left cow milk for my baby.

I'm trying to prepare myself mentally for nursing before we even have this baby. I feel good about it and that maybe it'll work. I'd love to be able to nurse until they're 6-12 months old. Plus, I hate washing bottles! Okay, so that's not the only reason to breastfeed but it's a good one when you don't own a dishwasher.

If you're wondering: both girls did wonderful with bottles and formula. I used Avent bottles with the breast-like ni.pples. And I used Enfamil Prosobee Lipil with Iron (soy-based formula). I believe soy is a lot easier on their tummies, though it stinks something awful!

But nursing is my preference so I'm definitely going to give it my all. And if it doesn't happen, I know I'll probably cry (hormones) but they'll grow up and be perfectly fine. My daughters are very, very healthy children who rarely get sick (even when we go shopping and I catch them putting their hands in the mouths!).

I'm not afraid to change my mind!

If you know me then you know that I sometimes change my mind. A lot. Unless I'm very passionate about my opinion (such as my stance on abortion or other hot-button issues) I have a tendency to waver between one food being my favorite... and changing it to another.

Or changing my mind about how I run my little blog.

Or like changing my mind about the gender of our baby.

Yes, you heard right. I have boy on the brain. I actually haven't said anything for weeks (or is it days? Time is going by too fast) because I didn't want to admit I changed my mind. But you know what? I'm not afraid to change my mind.

I really think this baby may be a boy. I have hardly entertained the idea of a girl recently. It may be noticeable- like the nursery. I have the boy name down pat, the boy nursery ideas set in stone and have been spending all my time looking at baby boy clothes and decorations. With a few non-committed girl ideas on the side (I'll feel badly if this little one is a girl because I don't want them to feel as though we didn't want a girl- the gender really doesn't matter to us! It'll be amazing either way).

Your votes are screaming BOY now too. If you haven't voted there's still a little less than a month to go. Some symptoms that may help in your vote: hating meat and pasta and cheese; loving milk and cereal and carbs. Look to be carrying low but this is my fifth pregnancy so I'm probably more saggy than anything, ha ha!

So now I think almost all of us are on the same page with thinking little one might be a boy. I overheard Elaina telling her cousin, "My baby is a brother!" To which her cousin said, "Is your momma going to call him Butterball?" Had to laugh because that's what cousin's momma calls her newborn.

Today Elaina was very affectionate with The Bump. Giving hugs, patting it during church. I can't wait until everyone can feel the baby move. I know Elaina will glue her hand to my belly when that happens! She is such a lovey-dovey girl and has been obsessed with babies before she could crawl. Abigail still doesn't get it and just mimicks us, but it's so sweet! I think she'll probably exclaim, "Oh my gosh!" when she feels the baby move or run away in terror.

The Crib

Today has been a busy day and I'm way tired because of it! But it was a productive and great day. Right now I'm working on the nursery. I decided to paint the closet door in the nursery and so far, so good. Although I think I should've used Kilz before I started. I may have to Kilz over what I've done already and start over- no biggie. However I will not be personally doing the Kilz myself (for all of you who may get concerned!).

And we also ventured out to get the crib today. It is my Mother's Day gift. Ha ha! Seriously, that's what I wanted and we needed to get it anyway... so happy early Mother's Day to me! You can see the crib HERE. We won't be putting it together just yet.

It had great, great reviews! The only semi-bad review was from someone who didn't have instructions with their crib. Okay, if you are giving a review PLEASE give a review of the actual product. I could care less if your package came with instructions or not. The company will gladly send them to you if you call. Errors like that happen all the time. Okay, I'm done ranting.

This crib also doesn't have a sliding rail, which is something I wanted to try. All the cribs I've had with a sliding rail (you know, the side that lowers and lifts) have been really wobby and the rail falls off. The display of the crib was only a partial display instead of a full crib. The wood is very nice! It doesn't seem to chip or wear out easily.

Plus, you can't beat that price. You may have to rub your eyes and do a double-take. I'm very pleased with this purchase and cannot wait to put it together! All in good time, all in good time! The powder room in the master bedroom is looking pretty stuffed with our crib, crib mattress, bassinet, rocking chair, etc.

I also want to put a rug in the nursery. I've found a couple I like so I'll share them with you. I'd buy the largest rug available, btw, as the ones pictured are the small ones.

If baby is a girl we like THIS rug.
If baby is a boy we like THIS rug or THIS rug.

♥

Other than being sore I'm feeling really good lately! And I feel hungry all. the. stinking. time. Thankfully I haven't gained much weight since my last weigh-in, according to my scale, so that's good because I feel like a cow grazing all day.

I'm starting to want meat a little more. I can do sliced turkey just fine and turkey or beef slothered in BBQ. But hotdogs and cheeseburgers still make me want to gag.

Fur-Baby

I've linked up (very last minute) to the Pet Parade going on HERE. So here is a picture of my Siamese cat, Beckett. Here he is hanging out in his favorite spot- looking out our front window at all the going-ons outside.

He was a stray that actually found us! You can see his one leg looks funny. It was broken when we found him and the vet said we could amputate or leave it. So we left it and he uses it just perfect- except when he sits! Ha ha!



This is my lover-boy. This is his "I really love you, Mom" look. He thinks I'm his Momma (and I am!) and is constantly in my face with this sweet, sulty expression.

He was named after a character on Stargate Atlantis. And his personality could be described as "adolescent". Always getting into trouble and tearing through the house. But he's a good boy- goes in the litterbox and doesn't bite people. The only time I ever heard him hiss was at the vet.

He's very, very affectionate and has the loudest purr I've ever heard. He likes to climb into doll strollers and be pushed around by my daughters. And he LOVES to play with their toys (like the Fisher Price Ball-Popper).

♥

On other news I wanted to mention the "swine flu". I'm not concerned about this flu and neither are many of the nurses I've heard talk about it. It's just like any flu strand but has a nasty name attached to it. And as with any flu, hand-washing is the best way to prevent getting and spreading it. Next time your doctor offers a flu shot, take it! Because thousands die from the flu every year (not just "swine flu")!

♥

I ended up not being able to finish the nursery today. My neck was so bad it was affecting my back, my right arm, and I feel like my left hip is dislocated (it's not, but it sure feels weird). I actually felt like this before I painted but the painting definitely aggravated it.

So... hopefully I'll feel better to finish tomorrow (Saturday) and will post then!

Hot pad + sitting with my feet up + not doing anything all day = feeling better already.