Thursday, December 10, 2009

Response to Previous Post

I really appreciate everyone's comments from my previous post! I love how diverse parenting can be and how we all do things so differently and yet can still yield the same result- healthy children. That is the ultimate goal.

I actually tried having Elaina cry it out as a baby. I hated bed-sharing with her because I didn't understand it and naively thought she was going to become a spoiled baby and child. I didn't have Internet access or books on the topic. I ended up bed-sharing in desperation and not of free-will because none of us were getting sleep. Bed-sharing with her was difficult (three people in a FULL size bed). I had no support. *Edit- I had major support from my sister, SIL and MIL in many regards. I was simply referring to my husband. LOL! Poor sucker. He didn't know anything about babies so I felt like I was on my own during the middle of the night with her when I was trying to get her in that crib! I should've clarified since I definitely give those ladies props for trying to help and offer advice with breastfeeding and other things.

If I had known what I wrote about last night I think my attitude would've been different. I had the same notion that most women have in America and that is to get your baby as independent as possible as quick as possible. So my goal was to get her to sleep through the night in her own room and bed ASAP. And... it didn't happen that way until she was almost one-year-old.

And there is nothing wrong with a child that WILL sleep through the night and self-soothe. If they will do it then that is absolutely amazing and you're a lucky mom! It means better sleep for everyone. Abigail, like I said, was a self-soother who hated to be held and slept through the night early on in her own crib.

I guess a better way of saying all of this is just to say, "Listen to your baby and what they need! Each child is unique and different, not made from the same cookie cutter. They'll let you know exactly when they're ready." And they grow just so fast. I think that is another reason I am holding on to dear life to this third baby and it doesn't bother me one bit. I want more children but with PCOS I never know how much longer my body will cooperate so I will hold onto her like she's the last and hope there are more!

Trial-and-error is the only way we can figure out what will work with each child. With Zoƫ I've wanted to do everything differently than what I did with Elaina and Abigail. It all started with her birth obviously.

And I have to admit that I'm a lot more mature as a parent with this third little miracle then when I had my first baby. And thank God for that! I don't do everything right but I'm trying and that's what counts.


The Mommy said...

I think I could have ten children and do everything differently! Ellie is such a different baby than Maggie was and we definitely have learned to listen to her and our instincts. I think having a third would be even easier for some ways. But I'm not so sure that will happen. I just hold on to Ellie for dear life too!!

Kaye said...

I just read this post and the previous one, but wanted to tell you that although I too have a very different parenting style than you do, I admire you for listening to what your child needs and responding to that. Moms do know best sometimes. =)

Jewels said...

What do you mean you were on your own and had no support? I've always been here to try and help you, especially since Mom died before you had Elaina. Not that I know everything, but I recall me trying to help you with breastfeeding when I came to visit (when she was a week old) and we've had countless phone conversations/emails about parenting & babies.
I tried my best to help you and support you when you became a mom. Just as I think you've helped me in ways as well.

*~Chelsea~* said...

Great post, Joysters! You're right that trial-and-error just sometimes has to happen since every baby is different. It's no surprise that you're more mature now, but you were very mature then! You've always been mature for your age. ;-) You're a great mommy!