On our way to the bonfire
After Sunday service, "watching" football with Daddy
So for the past few days I've gotten on here and stared blankly at the screen or have been interrupted. There's a lot to say but in the same sense nothing is really going on. Instead I bring you confessions!
-........ it feels great to actually PEE again! Say what?! You heard me! When you're 9 months pregnant you don't pee, you trickle. You will feel such a strong urge to use the restroom and all you get is a teaspoon. You never have that feeling of relief. Well I feel relief now and it feels good! I don't even care if that's TMI.
-........ that I can't put this baby down. I hold her all day and all night but mostly because I want to. She doesn't mind being put down now but I can't help but want to stare at her and drink her in. I know all too well how fast time flies so for now I hold her. But I am eager to get her crib because I am eager to sleep horizontally again!
-......... that I wish I felt like myself. I'm in this weird limbo right now. I feel good but I don't feel like myself, emotionally, yet. Stupid hormones! I know, it's still early yet.
-........ that breastfeeding is harder than I thought it would be. The hard part is that it is YOU who has to be accessible and ready constantly. I love not having formula (stinky!) and bottles to clean and nasty diapers. But it's really hard to have to nurse and have both of your hands tied up and not be able to do anything beyond sit there. I have to remind myself that it won't always be like this.
-....... that I fall asleep every morning while Abigail watches Ses.ame Str.eet. We just all chill out on the couch for that hour, Zoë and I sleeping and Abby learning the letter of the day. I also fall asleep every evening for about an hour.
-....... that I dread going to bed every night. Not because of the baby but because of another confession....... I broke our bed! Our mattress is on the floor and it makes me feel really out of sorts to not have my room together. I was sitting against the headboard, right on the edge of the bed, and all of my weight in that one spot caused the support board to snap.
-....... to feeling guilty. By the time Elaina gets home from school I'm pretty much half-asleep on the couch. Abigail is left to entertain herself most of the day unless she watches TV or a movie (which I HATE; I do not like it when my kids veg out all day). I just feel torn in three directions and of course Zoë is the one who wins out at every chance she gets since I'm the only one that can feed her. Thankfully my kids are taking it well but I know there's going to be a breaking point soon! One day at a time, right?!
-....... that I do miss this (last belly pic, just a day or two before she was born)...
Pending the weather I'm hoping to do a little photo shoot of Zoë tomorrow. I need lots of sunlight so hopefully tomorrow will be a good day. And therefore I'll have more (and better) pics of her to post!
I've already put away fall decor but I'm not breaking out the Christmas stuff just yet! I'm going to try to hold off until Thanksgiving to bring it all out but it might be hard. I am so excited to put out an extra stocking this year!
I've already lost 28 lbs since giving birth. Just 11 lbs more and I'll be back to where I was before I got pregnant. And that's all from giving birth and breastfeeding. Got to love that perk!