So our little peanut has grown into a honeydew melon! She's probably about 4 lbs, give or take some ounces. I have this weird thing, though, that I have to ask you guys about. Usually when your baby gets the hiccups it gives you a good idea if your baby is breech or head-down. Well... I feel hiccups down L-O-W and up by my ribs at the same time!!! I'm so confused. I think she's head-down and it's just her bum up top moving with the hiccups.
On a different note: I have always been a person that respects home births, but never ever felt that I'd be comfortable enough to actually have a home birth. I've watched the videos on Yo.uT.ube, read the birth stories, talked to midwives and always thought, "That's so nice... but not for me!"
Just this past week or so my tune has changed. I really feel like I am in a place where I could comfortably and safely give birth at home. Problem is that it isn't going to happen since Daniel does not like the idea whatsoever. But it was a nice thought and I hope that he changes his mind in the future. I actually know people who've given birth at home, in real life, and I admire them greatly.
So why, you may wonder, have I begun to think about this? I think it's a multitude of things that changed my mind. Some of it is pretty intense and I won't go into that (mostly with hospital policies and regulations, defense medicine, etc.). But I began to think, "What if I was in the comfort of my own home, not having to rush off to the hospital in fear and anxiety, hoping I get there 'in time'?" Being able to labor and do what I need to do, stare at our family pictures, bring my baby into the world, and then rest in my own home without people rushing in and out of my room and all the noise and rough hands handling my baby!
A lot of my research in home birth has also led me to this conclusion- "Home birth is actually safer than hospital birth for low-risk women, with a health professional present!" (ONE of my resources HERE). Beforehand I didn't think it could be that safe. Now I'm finding it is as safe and even safer than a hospital birth.
But again, as I said before, Daniel is not on the same page as I am. And that's okay. I think a lot of what he feels is fear, mostly that his wife might die in delivery (which he feels at a hospital birth, too). Much like what I used to feel when thinking about home birth and feeling it wasn't for me.
Instead we plan to labor at home as long as possible instead of going in when those first real contractions hit. The moment you lay down to be monitored at the hospital, your contractions can ease up and your progress can slow significantly. So it's important to me to stay home for a little while instead of spending hours on monitors and slowing progress.
We are also praying for our doctor, whoever that may be since this practice has quite a few, and for the nurses that will be present when we deliver. We believe in the power of prayer and we're praying they'll be knowledgeable, kind, respectful, peaceful and joyous. We'd appreciate adding us onto your prayer list about this specific situation. For some reason I feel more apprehension prior to this birth than the birth of my other two. Perhaps because I know all the things that CAN go wrong and have more knowledge in this area than I did back then.
So 1 1/2 months and she'll be here. My TO DO List has dwindled considerably. Just this weekend we installed the infant seat in our van and packed the hospital bag (with a list of last-minute items to grab with us, such as pillows and my eyeglasses). Not much left to do!