Friday, July 17, 2009

Tipping the Scale (a whiny post)

So today I was weighed and let me just say the result has left me feeling absolutely horrible and even depressed. The person who weighed me wasn't a jerk about it or anything BUT they did show me a "growth chart" like you see at the pediatrician's office. She said, "Well you weren't tiny to begin with... but we want you to gain 15 lbs total. You've gained 21 lbs thus far."

Well bite me.

I'm doing what I can. I'm not eating like a pig, though I did just have a bout of emotional eating because I thought, "What the H?! Might as well!"

I've never ever had a weight issue that left me feeling this way. And I hate being made to feel guilty, as though I'm doing something wrong when I'm actually trying to do everything right. It's not like we can do anything about it anyway! And more weight IS probably coming.

I've always been that person who was annoyed about pregnant women complaining about their expanding waistlines and here I am doing the same thing. Sorry, I really am. But I am a person who has to be honest with their feelings. I am not any less grateful for being pregnant, for having Zoe. This is purely a self-image thing that actually doesn't have anything to do with actually BEING pregnant. They just happen to be coinciding at this time.

FYI- I weighed in at exactly 200 lbs today. I used to weigh 130 once upon a time and thought that was fat. Oh how naive I was!!!

To top that off I got really angry with Daniel tonight, probably partly due to my already cranky crankiness. So I'm just feeling completely pathetic and unattractive right now, all by myself, because he got to go out and get out of the house.

So that is my whiny, emotional post for the year.


Stacey said...

Let it out girl! We all need to vent:)

I was HUGE when I had Josh~ENORMOUS. I got tested several times for gestational diabetes because I was getting so big. I was always around 110 and I gained just about 70 pounds. Lets just say it was a humbling experience and my body will never be the same again:) But I am not complaining, it was worth it!But I feel your pain.

Were Elaina and Abigail big babies?!?

Washing Away the Gain said...

Dont listen to that person!! I gained 64 lbs with Max!!! You are going to be fine. I dont think its fair when they try to make you feel bad. What do they want us to do diet? Ya I'm sure they'd be thrilled with that, so if you gain more, don't worry about it. Hugs!!

Mel said...

Meh, I gained 50 lbs in pregnancy. Pregnancy was so miserable for me, I ate my way through it. Don't let anyone bring you down... unless there is some medical reason why your weight is causing a problem for the baby, who cares? If you are motivated to get it off post partum, it will come off!
People should not be allowed to take out weight measurements during pregnancy. :)

The Mommy said...

I remember thinking 130 was fat too. How stupid was I????

Anne Elizabeth said...

I've seen you in real life and I think you look really good. You don't look huge to me at all. I know it feels like you do though especially when someone at the doctor's office gets on to you about the amount of weight you gained. I think it is a joke to expect a pregnant woman to only gain 15 pounds. Seriously you'd have to be puking all the time for that to happen. Been there done that and it sucked. I know you will be able to lose weight after Zoe arrives. I know you feel unattractive but I was just thinking the other day how beautiful you are. You are beautiful and you look great:)

The Lynchs said...

Oh don't you worry about a thing! There is no reason for them to make you feel bad about yourself if you are trying to do everything right. Shame on them!!

Kaye said...

Don't worry about it. The point is that you are healthy and Zoe is healthy. Otherwise, you can deal with the weight as needed after she gets here. This is certainly a good time to eat healthy and make smart choices, but not to be ridiculed into feeling bad about it.'s no wonder some women get themselves in trouble trying to "diet" during pregnancy when people say things to them like that.

I too was much smaller once and thought I was huge. Yes, I bragged in my blog about almost all of the baby weight almost coming off already, but what I neglected to post is that I was FAR overweight to begin with, so I still have a long way to go.

Keep your head up and know that you'll be beautiful to Daniel forever...regardless of how you might feel at the moment about yourself.

Go ahead and vent. You have every right to...and this is YOUR blog by the way. =)

Photogrl said...

15 pounds!?!

Don't let that nurse get to you. You're doing great. You are healthy, and Zoe is healthy. That is all that matters.


Kahla said...

I am way behind on blog reading since we were on vacation and need to go read your other posts, but seriously, 15 pounds??!??!!? That is nuts and totally out there! I would try not to let it get to you, easier said than done I know, and just focus on the fact that you and Zoe are both healthy. The weight will come off and I think you are doing just fine!

Susan Sene said...

Ok so I'm just now reading this post and I must say, I think they shouldn't have any kind of "normal weight gain scale". I remember when my sister-in-law was pregnant...she didn't really gain much b/c she was sick and then got heartburn and a guy said, "good for you - some women just gain way too much" and I thought - ya know what mister, you really can't help how much your body decides to pack on when you're pregnant so why don't you just keep your ignoramous mouth shut?!


Hope Endures said...

I'm reading backwards, so I read your other post first. Having seen the pictures you look amazing. The scale is mean and it lies. :)

And what are they thinking, 15 pounds TOTAL? And "well you weren't tiny to begin with"? I would have snatched the growth chart and hit her with it. Or if it was only paper, at least given her a nasty paper cut. (See? I don't do gracious responses well...)

End of rant! :) Anyway, I hope you are feeling better today. (((hugs)))

luckeelady said...

girl I'm in the same boat as you. I was about 198 when I delivered my daughter and really only gained the recommended weight gain. I started this time though 20 lbs. lighter than I started before and I have already almost gained the whole amount I gained last time. I'm about 25 lbs. total and still have many more weeks and lbs. to go.

I'm about the same 28 weeks and the gain is all in my belly...

My doctor told me at the last visit that I needed to slow down and actually recommended I eat kind of like the South Beach Diet... more protein and less carbs. I don't eat like a pig either I just eat more frequently smaller meals since that is what they recommend anyway. I eat healthier except for the occassional cherry or peach pie once a day or so. :)

Good luck with the weight concerns and don't let them or anyone else get to you, it's for a really good cause: A BEAUTIFUL BABY!