Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Rudest Thing

This has been such a lovely and wonderful weekend after Friday's emotional fiasco over my weight (thank you for your responses, btw!). We spent Saturday at the zoo and had our niece come over for dinner (pizza!) and games afterward. And today, after church, I went to a baby shower.

And was told, probably, the rudest thing I can remember being told by a perfect stranger.

I actually laughed. It seriously IS funny to me but I must share because I immediately thought to myself, in amusement, "This is so blogworthy!" Didn't hurt my feelings but I was shocked and appalled by their brashness toward someone they didn't even know, even embarrassed for them, not myself.

I was standing at the counter while my girls were at the table eating cake/ice cream. This woman, without even looking at me, says, "Is this your first?"

"Oh no, this is my third. My other two are over there."

She glances at me, wrinkles her nose, and says in a haughty tone, "You do NOT look old enough to be having babies."

I actually burst out laughing, as though my youthful appearance has anything to do with my parenting skills. What else can you do?

And instead of giving my own snarky remark back I simply said, "Yes, I know I look about 17 but I'm actually in my 20's." And I left it at that. I don't have to justify or defend myself. I can tell when I go out in public that people judge me by the looks they give, but no one has ever actually said anything TO ME about the thoughts running through their minds.

After I got home a ton of retorts went through my mind. But in the end I think how I responded was mature and the best way for a Christian to respond. But believe me, afterward I DID wish I had said something to really put her in her place. Ah, well, all is well that ends well!

No some pictures of my oh-so-youthful face and our trip to the zoo, in no particular order.

On our way to see the Red Panda (pictured behind them)

On the train at the zoo! I think Daddy looks sexy in this pic. And Elaina looks so beautiful!!!

Kangaroos running wild! Only shot we got of any animals.

I will age well, ha ha! Abigail and her young-n-vibrant mother!

My mini-me and me!

26 weeks, 4 days
I promised a full body shot so here you go!
Looks like my belly is taking over my shirts. Need to buy some longer ones, me thinks!
And my boobs are about as big as my face. Wow! I probably didn't need to point that out but it's funny so I will anyway.

So what is the rudest thing you have ever been told? Did you like your response or wish you could've responded differently? Do share!


Washing Away the Gain said...

Well you will age beautifully!! You know how many people who die to look as young as you do naturally! It's a blessing!!
I didn't get any comments like that when pregnant (maybe because I'm old har har), but I did get a comment from a stranger admiring my home, and then telling me the same thing, that I didn't look old enough to own my home. I was 26, and my answer was "really? well i'm almost 30!" Don't ask me why I said that.

Infertility is Hard said...

Sorry you had to deal with such a rude comment. I don't know where people get off!

The rude comment I hear repeatedly is when someone knows that I'm suffering from infertility, they like to point out that I'm young. (only 29) SO, eventually, it will of course happen. This comment always frustrates me. Infertility is infertility, regardless of how "young" I may be. Ergh. . .

Susan Sene said...

The rudest thing I've been told (at least so far) is when this guy I work with told me he could tell I was pregnant because my butt was getting bigger. I was pretty appalled and wish now I would have let him know how incredibly inappropriate that was but I just kinda stood there and stared at him.

Hope Endures said...

What a rude comment!! I think your response was very kind and gracious. When stuff like that happens to me, I either completely lose control of my tongue and say something mean back (God and I are working on that one!), or I stutter through the moment and then think of witty comebacks later. I get the "just relax and you'll get pregnant" line a lot. It burns me up.

I'm reeling over Susan's story - I can't believe someone would say that!! Not to mention, he basically admitted to checking out her butt a lot. Creepy.

Sorry for the super-long comment!! You look great by the way! :)

The Mommy said...

Your boobs ARE huge!! ha, ha!
I remember someone saying, "You're not due until June??? Boy, do you have a long way to go!". It made me feel huge, but judging by the looks of other pregnant women at my midwife appointments, I was looking pretty good!

Princess Avanaar said...

You guys look like you had a great day at the zoo! And you look absolutely beautiful (and I'm not just saying that!). You know how people say that some women just "glow" ... well, you're one of them! =D You are one hawt momma! =D

As for rude comments when I was pregnant, I don't think I got any. In fact, when J was 3 weeks old and we went to Target, I had an older woman working there comment on how good I looked after having him! Woot!! Made me feel a lot better!

Don't mind peoples' rudeness. It seems that a majority of people have a tendency to speak before they think!

Tasha Via said...

I think you look beautiful! AND I also think that people need to take a class on what NOT TO SAY to a pregnant lady...or any stranger for that matter!

I've gotten that same comment before too. Just brush it off=)

Photogrl said...

Looks like the day at the zoo was fun!

People can be unbelievable in their remarks...I've had so many, but most are based on my losses. Kudos to you for not snapping back at her!

Lovin' the belly shots! :)

Hoping for our own Peanut said...

ugh, what a rude comment! some people dont think before they talk, especially older men/women.

you handled it very maturely.

and you look great! i love the belly shot. zoes gonna be a beauty, just like your other two!

Amber said...

Wow, you have such a gorgeous glow! :) Seriously, you make me miss being pregnant. The rudest thing someone ever said to me was when I was about 6 months pregnant with Ally. A lady said, "Wow... you actually look pregnant now. I thought you were lying and just getting fat! HAHAHA!" I didn't laugh... obviously.

Andrea said...

You look beautiful!! That color green looks really good on you! I understand the looks you say you normally get, I've started receiving them too now that I'm showing! I'm like you, I normally act really nice when someone is rude to me, but later I wish I had responded with a better (meaner) comeback. lol

The rudest situation I was ever in was when my mom introduced me to someone at our old church a couple of years ago (that she had just met) and pointed out that my husband was on the other side of the room. The lady had that same wrinkly nose haughty look and said to her, "Do all of your children marry so young?" My mom said, "Well Andrea's 22 and my other kids aren't that old yet, so no." The lady's face immediately cleared up and she smiled and said "oohh!!" when she heard how old I was. Jerk. I guess she thought I was 18 or something, but who cares if I was!! I just stood there, I didn't say a word...I was in church, everything I wanted to say would be even more inappropriate ;-).