So lately I've been thinking about the birth and envisioning how it'll play out (they never really play out how you expect but bear with me). And my worst nightmare? Is that my former doctor will end up being the ONLY doctor available when I'm about to push.
Apparently that freaks Zoe out, too, because she just started rolling around. ;-Þ
In all seriousness that really does make me worry. I'll express the concern to my current doctor at my OB visit tomorrow and hopefully he'll have some reassurance. I even wrote on my birth plan, "Under no circumstance is Dr _______ allowed in my room!" As far as emergencies go, I don't know what would happen. More than likely I don't think I'd care WHO was there so long as my baby was safe. I just do NOT trust that woman, though, even in an emergency. But Zoe matters more than anything.
I'm worrying for nothing, I'm sure, and manifesting my fear via dreams. But it's still hard to think that there may be a slight possibility of Dr. Witch being at the hospital that night.
And to be honest it's probably better I am worrying over something so silly instead of filling my head with all the OTHER dreadful things that could, or could not, happen. I just need peace right now and I hope my doctor is able to reassure me that someone from his office will be available to deliver my precious Zoe.
***For those of you wondering who my former doctor is- she would be the one who broke Abigail's collarbone during her delivery because she was pulling so hard on her (when I was pushing adequately on my own and didn't need for her to do that- she was just in a hurry to get out of there). Abigail then developed torticollis and had to go to physical therapy.
She also refused to help prevent my most recent miscarriage, after putting me on Clomid (UNMONITORED). She refused to give me progesterone supplementation as my HCG went up beautifully but my progesterone kept plummeting. A sonogram showed "fetal demise" (meaning a baby without a heartbeat, which in reality could've been a viable little baby had she just TRIED to ease my mind with the progesterone. If the prog. didn't work then it didn't work and I would know we exhausted every resource to save that pregnancy).