Sunday, June 28, 2009

Girls, girls, girls!

So lately I've been trying to imagine what life will be like with all girls. I never ever once thought I'd have three daughters. Three little girls to be best friends, play dress-up, giggle throughout the middle of the night, braid each others' hairs, go to dances together, "borrow" each others' clothes and then ruin them, conspiring together against their parents (I jest, I jest!)...

I have these moments where I think to myself, "What if the sonogram was wrong?!" and so I'm kind of relieved that we'll be getting the 3D sonogram done (probably end of July). I went through this with Elaina and Abigail, too. For some reason when you're told GIRL you kind of doubt if they're right even if it is plain as day. Pregnant women seem to be paranoid as it is so it's best to just indulge our insanity as we question the very revealing gender scan!

My stomach has begun to feel really heavy and it's round like a basketball. I love it! Zoe's movements are still inconsistent. Some days it's like an amusement park in the womb and other days it's like a quiet little spa with barely any interaction. She really likes music and "dances" away, then again most babies do that anyway. My sister described it best when she said, "Music is a soul thing- we're not taught how to do it as children. Children just know to move their bodies!"

Some important dates are coming up. The first is my FaVoRiTe holiday- Independence Day!!! Yes, that is my favorite holiday. Mostly because I have very fond memories of the day, always a family day, and I love patriotism. Maybe I'll elaborate on that more on another post Friday.

We have a few ideas of what we'll be doing Saturday but haven't made a decision yet. Waiting to hear about some details of one choice before we nail it down. Regardless there is going to be FIRE, MARSHMALLOWS, HOTDOGS and of course FIREWORKS. 'Nuff said.

Another important date coming up is my due date. Kieran (Pumpkin) was due July 9th. Lately I've really been thinking about where I'd be if I hadn't miscarried them. Wondering who they'd be, what they would've looked like, if they would've been another GIRL (or perhaps that first boy) and just envisioning how round and uncomfortable I would've been but loving it anyway. I'm sad but not depressed about it. It's a quiet sad, not a bawling-my-eyes-out horrible wretchedness.

Zoe is not a replacement baby (in fact, she was an unexpected surprise after m/c and fertility issues!). I know some people think that women try to get pregnant immediately following a loss to "replace" the one they lost. But it's not true. That little one was unique and you will forever carry their dates in your heart, wondering who they could've been. Their memory and brief existence isn't diminished the moment you become pregnant with another sweet life.

Little Kieran, I'll probably write a post for you on your due date. But wanted you to know that I do think of you everyday and am already counting down the days to when we would've and could've met. Love Forever, Mommy


Becky said...

Girls are fun. Take it from someone who grew up in an all girl family, lol. It was great as a kids and even better now because I have 3 very different (and yet the same) best friends who know me so well.

Photogrl said...

Poor Daniel! ;)

Unfulfilled due dates are hard.


Susan Sene said...

I've thought the same thing about if they're wrong about Ladybug bein a girl! :) I won't have another peek though so I hope they're right!

I know your due date for Kieran will be difficult - my Peanut's was back in March...I'm quickly approaching the anniversary of when we found out we lost that sweet life. You're right, no child will ever replace the one you lost. I'll be praying for you!

Andrea said...

I know several families who have all girls and they are so fun! Matt and I (and our families) have wondered what it would be like if Evan ended up being a girl! lol I have another u/s coming up so it does make me feel a little better that we'll get another peek at him since we didn't see firm evidence of his manhood last time. ;-) The u/s tech seemed very sure though, so I'm trusting her!

I know what it's like to have a due date come and go with no baby. It must be so hard that you have already been through that once. *HUG* It's still a special day, one that should be remembered, so I'm glad you are thinking about it in spite of how painful it is. Kieran was special, I'll be thinking of him/her too.

Hope Endures said...

Just wanted to leave you some (((hugs))). I'm praying for you, and will be thinking of you much as Kieran's due date approaches.

Stacey said...

I just remembered how you had wrote last year about how much you LOVE 4th of July!!! & how it brings back special memories (I remember liking that post) I agree~ it is a fun time:) Josh is excited to see the fireworks.

You will be in my thoughts & prayers next week Joy.