For some of you this is no big deal, for others topics like this can gross you out. I just want to mention, for posterity sake, something that is kind of disgusting and gross.
I keep having this weird feeling, like I might be bleeding.
But everytime I go to the bathroom it's just a truckload of CM. I totally forgot this part of being pregnant! I always remembered it in the 3rd trimester, anyway, never the beginning. Then again, you tend to forget a lot unless you write it down (hence me typing this totally TMI info).
I actually really appreciate CM. But when you go to a fertility class to learn about monitoring your CM to prevent or achieve pregnancy and the teacher breaks out a book with PICTURES of other womens' CM you can't get it out of your head. Yuck, yuck.
The insomnia is getting annoying. Some days I wake up before the sun is up and cannot fall back asleep. Other mornings I'm so tired that I have to go back to sleep after breakfast because I just cannot function.
When you're pregnant with your first, and you don't have a job, you have so much "rest time". I remember sleeping in until almost noon when I was pregnant with Butterfly. But now that I have two little ones it just doesn't work that way. You have to fight through your sleep deprivation, which you've had all along since the first child was born, plus the fatigue pregnancy brings you.
It's gotten to the point in the past year that I'm so used to sleep deprivation. Before I had children I was not a morning person. Well, I'm still not. But back then I wouldn't even talk in the morning- I'd just grunt at people. Now I at least roll over and tease Daniel, "Wakey, wakey honeybun! Time to get up!!!" in a sing-songy voice.
I attribute the ability to sing silly wake-up songs to Daniel to the sleep deprivation. It makes you delusional and crazy!
The other night I had an awful nightmare that I couldn't shake. Something about floods coming and feeling this sense of urgency. I remember getting my family and our memorabilia (photos and such) put together and trying to get out of town because the floods were going to swallow up the city. I just remember how I FELT during the dream. It was absolutely awful.
What was worse was it would replay with different scenerios. In one we forgot Beckett (the cat) so we had to turn around and go get him. Then it would re-start and we'd be in a traffic jam as flood waters came rushing behind us, devouring the cars until it reached ours and we died. Again, it would re-start and we were then running down a street, each of us holding one of our daughters, as the waters rose behind us, desperately trying to reach higher ground.
In some scenerios we were able to keep our momentos (pictures, things that meant something to us, etc.) and in others our fear and protectiveness for our children won out over any material things and we ran, ready to let all of our possessions be destroyed. The good part in waking up is that it made me realize what's most important in my life- my loved ones. I already knew that, of course, but it reiterated that all of our "stuff" will pass away in time.
Okay, that kind of got depressing. But the dream really bothered me because it was so very realistic!
In happier news- I forgot to mention that my doctor told me I could take one progesterone pill a day, instead of two. I actually started doing that almost 2 weeks ago. The funny thing is that progesterone, I thought, made your boobs HURT. But mine didn't.
Well the past few days I cannot believe how bad they hurt! I just never experienced this except post-birth. And I'm down one of the pills. So my body must be producing a good amount on it's own. I'm still taking one for safety sake and hopefully for not much longer! It's hard enough swallowing all the pills I have (I swallow 4 at a time!).