Friday, December 5, 2008

19 More Days... (*UPDATE)

... until AF shows. Yup, while everyone is counting down the days to Christmas I'm counting down the days to that "wonderful" time of the month. Gee, Santa, it's what I've always NOT wanted.

I guess it's always possible to get a BFP, too, but I'm not really looking for that to happen. Instead I've been focusing on portions and working out. Daniel did the workout DVD today while I was out working at the church and getting groceries. He said he hurts so bad! And it's only 20 minutes.

The girls and I started making chocolate and vanilla covered pretzels tonight for gifts. I'm probably the most impatient mom, though, when it comes to doing stuff in the kitchen. After about 5 minutes of Bumble Bee just eating the pretzels and Butterfly trying to stick her face in the bowl I just yelled, "Daniel get in here and get them out, PLEEEEASE!"

Then I feel bad. I want to be that fun mom that does all this fun stuff. I just can't stand having people underfoot. I have enormous personal space. People who like to get really, really close when they talk to you? Yeah, don't like that. Don't like people who sit really close to me either. I get claustrophobic, in a way.

So after telling them to scoot I felt like poo. Oh well. It was bedtime anyway and there's always another day! We're going to make sugar cookies in two weeks for Jesus' birthday so they'll get to make a huge mess and have fun with that! Mostly because they'll have to sit at the table instead of scrunch up to my little countertop fighting and pushing me.

I'm sure no one has read this post yet because of the hour but I have to add this. I completely forgot to mention............... that my doctor called today.

And you won't believe what it was about! She called and said, "I see you're scheduled with an appointment this upcoming week." Then she paused. "Um, so what's going on? Do you think you're pregnant again? Do we need to do some tests?"


I can be a major you-know-what on the phone sometimes. Through gritted teeth all I could manage to get out was, "That appointment was made before. I don't plan on coming in. I'm very busy right now. Goodbye." CLICK. I hung up on her. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stay on the phone. I couldn't start a confrontation or pretend that I wasn't angry with her. That appointment was supposed to be my 10-week prenatal appointment. Why on earth did she not GET that?

I've printed off the letter but I haven't mailed it yet. It's been 2 weeks and it's just sitting here like a huge beacon in my face. I will get it mailed off Monday. That is my deadline. I need deadlines or I won't get it done.

I just couldn't believe that she called. She didn't mention getting a checkup after the miscarriage to make sure it "all came out" which my previous doctor did with my previous miscarriage. And how on earth could I get pregnant within 2 weeks and already know about it? Can anyone else help me figure this out? WHY?! Why does she have to call when I'm feeling better? Why does she have to drudge up all these nasty feelings?

Oh, and another deadline for Monday--- calling up a new doctor. Yup. I need to get that done! I feel like pulling my hair and screaming right now. I'm off to finish making the pretzels and to start making some spiced walnuts (yum). Cooking/baking = distraction.


Andrea said...

I'm the same way as you with the whole personal space thing! My dad and Matt were "complaining" about me and my mom. I like to cuddle with Matt, but only on my own terms. There are times I just don't like someone getting that close, even him. lol! My mom is the same way.

Your doctor should have seen that your appt has been scheduled for a month now, before your m/c. She should be extra careful about calling women who have suffered a loss to ask questions like that. As I was leaving my doctor's office the day of my m/c the receptionist reminded me that I had an appointment scheduled for the next week (my first prenatal appt). It was horrible to be reminded that in just a week I had planned on visiting the same office under much happier circumstances. *HUG* I know it is still hard, even though you are trying to be upbeat. I've been remembering you throughout each day and praying for you.

Tasha Via said...

Doctors can be so insensitive sometimes. I'm sorry Joy...

Mel said...

Your doctor sounds like a real moron. I know they get busy, but sheesh. Read the chart, please.
I am hoping you find someone new and very compassionate to replace her... Having that is priceless.