Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Good Day

Can I say, with a sigh of relief, that I actually had a decent day today? Other than being really tired, I wasn't emotional. I guess "lack of emotion" is a better word because I'm exuberant either.

I had a surprise visitor stop by today. Daniel's little brother LOVES this dish that I make and wanted me to make it for Thanksgiving. Well I'm already making two dishes and didn't want to spend the extra money for ingredients for just one dinner.

So I told him that if he really wanted it I'd make it! BUT he had to go buy the ingredients. As I'm about to take the girlies upstairs for a nap, someone rings the bell. There is my bro-in-law on the step with a couple bags of groceries. I was puzzled at first (he didn't call before coming over).

When I saw what was in the bags I laughed! I honestly didn't think he'd want it SOOOO bad that he'd go to the store himself and buy the ingredients. So what's the dish? It's something my grandfather made and that man could cook! He won ribbons at fairs for his food.

Anyway, it's a Corn-Mac dish. All you need is macaroni noodles, Velveeta, can of corn, can of creamed corn and Ritz crackers. It SOUNDS gross but it is seriously really good. It's like creamy mac-n-cheese with corn and crumbled Ritz on top all baked together. I'm the type of person that likes to mix ALL of her food together and eat it. Each bite must have a little bit of each item.

Okay, now I'm getting hungry and I'm ready for Thanksgiving dinner now!

Did I mention I've lost weight? I've lost 6 lbs in the last 5 days. That will probably all change come Thursday but oh well. It's only one day of the year! I think I've lost weight because I just haven't eaten as much.

As a teen I had an eating disorder but even now that is weird to say. I never thought of it as a disorder. I just didn't eat breakfast because it made me feel ill if I did. I didn't eat lunch at school and I can remember that on the way home my stomach would always be growling. So I'd get home and eat (it was usually junk because my mom did the shopping).

I also walked 2-3 miles every single day (I had the cutest butt, seriously) instead of riding the bus home. I do not recommend doing what I did (with the eating- but do walk!). It wasn't intentional. I didn't do it because I thought I was fat or needed to lose weight. I did it because we didn't have money for school lunch. Believe me, I was hungry and wanted to eat!

For the past few days I've fallen into the same pattern (minus the walking--- I just clean the house like crazy). But today was different. I felt more like myself and have been making an effort to get the nutrients I need. Wow, it was really hard to say all of that and I almost wanted to delete it. But I'll leave it up because I hope that if anyone out there does have a serious disorder (not caused by recent trauma) that you know you have a friend here.

So that is up with me. I hope to do some catching up on everyones' blogs this weekend and see what is going on with the rest of you.


Ris said...

I am cracking up about your brother in law bringing over all that food! LOL I'm glad you're making it for him. Maybe that will help make you feel better too...I know when I'm sad it makes me feel better to take care of other people. Use those mother nurturing skills! Awesome that you've lost weight! Although you need to eat Mama! I've lost 11 pounds now with WW. Just have to keep track and make better choices but the weight is coming off so easily. I'm so glad you had a better day!

Anonymous said...

That was so nice of you to cook for Jonny! That dish IS yummy! Now I want some. ;)
I'm just sending green bean casserole along with Trav on Thanksgiving. He loves it and it's the only time of year he gets to eat it.

I am also glad you had a "good" day. That must have felt nice. I pray you will have more good than bad. I think about you all throughout the day every day. I just never know what to say so I just pray or sometimes tear up. Just giving you time to process everything.

Well, I hope you feel more blessings than pain tomorrow on Thanksgiving. I lvoe you Sis!

P.S. The song "Praise you in this storm" (or whatever the title is) from Casting Crowns keeps playing in my mind in regards to you losing the baby. Sometimes I find it so hard to praise God in my pain, but I hope that one day I will get there. Do you ever feel like that?

Mel said...

I am so glad you had a good day! I hope it's the beginning of many more to come soon and I hope your Thanksgiving is wonderful. I know the pain will still be there in your heart, but I hope the joy of family and fellowship overpowers it.

Andrea said...

I'm glad someone else is being honest on blogger! Sometimes I write something personal and feel like deleting it, but I never know what will help other people or make them relate to me more. And it's actually good to get it off my chest sometimes.

I've been trying to force myself to eat breakfast these days. It makes me feel sick too. I couldn't go without eating lunch, but your description of yourself sounds just like my sister. She's been worrying me lately with her eating habits. I should probably talk to her about it.